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With a capacity audience of 150 at the Jules Stein Eye Institute, Dr. Walter E. Brackelmanns, who specializes in couple's therapy, addressed the community on February 27, 2001. Dr. Brackelmanns addressed issues of sexuality and intimacy and general ideas on healthy aging. Dr. Brackelmanns advice on how to maintain a happy marriage revolved around compromise and acceptance. He recommended that couples stop trying to change each other, and concentrate in developing a deeper intimacy with and appreciation for their spouse. "Lose interest in changing your spouse, but develop a deep interest in them and their feelings," he advised. According to Dr. Brackelmanns, there are three major difficulties that can impair sexual relations as we age. One obstacle is organic or medical problems that should be treated by a medical doctor. Another hindrance is performance problems which should be addressed by a sex therapist. Lastly is diminished desire, which should be brought to the attention of a couples' therapist. Dr. Brackelmanns stressed that the love and support of the partner is vital in sexual recovery. One of the benefits of a mature relationship is the deeper intimacy and connection that often develops in couples that remain focused on each other and their relationship. Dr. Brackelmanns advised that couples should make a conscious attempt to openly share their feelings, and to truly listen to the feelings and needs of their spouse. When intimacy is difficult, he recommends a "Dialogue of Intimacy" exercise. For no more than fifteen minutes, couples should stay together in one place, and share their thoughts without criticizing, being defensive, demanding, or becoming angry. Dr. Brackelmanns finished his talk by enumerating goals for better and longer living. His tips for a healthy and long life are:
--Reduce stress
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